Perhaps no command of Jesus is more difficult to put into practice than what he commanded His disciples in Luke 17:3-4,
“Be on your guard! If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. And if he sins against you seven times a day, and returns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ forgive him.”
It does not seem to be fair to us that someone can do or say something to hurt us and then just say, “I am sorry, forgive me,” and we just forgive them. Really? But it is worse than that. Jesus says that if they come back and offend again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again (that is seven “agains”) and asks for forgiveness, I am to forgive. How could I be such a sap? But it is even more than that. Jesus spoke about a “brother”, that is, someone who is close to us and should love us and not be so hurtful and oblivious to our injuries. Why should I treat someone like that with mercy and forgiveness time after time after time? The answer comes to me in my spirit, “That is how Jesus treats me when I ask for forgiveness again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again.” In fact, Jesus tells us after He taught his disciples to pray, “forgive our sins as we forgive those who sin against us,”
“For if you forgive others for their sins, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your sins.” Matthew 6:14-15
O, that nasty two letter word, “if.” It is one of the most troublesome words in the Bible. It puts conditions on blessings that require our faithfulness and the making of a right decision. This flies in the face of a lot of people’s theology about personal responsibility. But time and time again Scripture teaches, “If we have faith, If we hold fast, If we repent,” and then “If we forgive.” But that “if” also puts the responsibility on the offender to repent. This involves not only a sorrow for sins but a decision to turn away from wrong action to right action. If someone truly repents and asks for forgiveness, Jesus says we must forgive.
If someone does not repent, are we required to forgive? I do not think that is what Jesus requires. But He showed us an even better way to peace of mind and release of corrosive anger. Forgive freely! From the heart. Jesus displayed the way to us by his example when He looked the people in the face who were nailing His hands to the cross and prayed, “Father, forgive them!” Jesus interceded in prayer with the Father in behalf of the people who were harming Him. When we pray this way, whether they have asked for forgiveness or not, it seems that the Holy Spirit works to heal our hearts and give us what the Bible calls the “peace that passes understanding.”
Free forgiveness does not seem to be a sensible thing to do for most folks. But those who have interceded with the Father asking Him to forgive those who have sinned against them and pleading with Him to never hold those things against the offender, find a blessed release from the anger and angst that comes from unforgiveness.
One more thing to guard our heart from the pain and guilt of unforgiveness. Be truly difficult to offend. Do not easily take offense at things. Let it slide. Not only will this give you peace of mind but will drive those who hate you to distraction. Be quick to forgive and hard to offend.